The Infamous Hard Alley

The Infamous Hard Alley
Second Life's Original Sin

Friday, December 31, 2010

2010... 2011...

A lot has happened over the last year.  Major changes in my life and in Hard Alley.  Anyone that knows me already knows what all has happened this year, so I won't bore anyone with it.  Instead, I want to talk about 2011.

In January, Candace and I will return to making SL porn movies.  We just haven't had the time to do any over the last few months, but we are looking forward to resuming production over the next week or so.  We have several projects in various stages of development and are looking forward to working with many of the SL porn movie community.

Hard Core will also be rocking as always with our fantastic DJs!  Their eclectic style and variety of music means that the party is always fresh at Hard Core.  Club Manager Trixianna has some great ideas for events coming up, and by popular demand we'll be resuming our Slut Prize givaways soon!

Roleplaying in Hard Alley continues to improve, but its still not where I'd like it to be.  I'd love to see more short, sexy scenes played out in the dark corners and abandoned buildings.  The addition of a drug den and brothel will hopefully lead to some additional RP situations, and the new biker gang is very heavy into RP.

I will also be attempting to revive DCS combat in Hard Alley, with street gangs fighting it out on regular occasions.  Stay tuned for more on that.

In light of the former Mayor of Hard Alley embezzling the town's treasury and sneaking off in the middle of the night (I hear he is somewhere in Thailand now enjoying the company of several small animals), Hard Alley will be holding new elections soon.  As before, I expect these elections to be full of cheating, bribery, and sex scandals.  This will be a no-holds barred election where anything goes and anyone can win.

In May, Candace and I will hopefully celebrate being a couple for one year.  Although we had known each other for over a year, it wasn't until last May that we really found each other and realized that we should be together.  Every day I am with her is better than the last.  She makes me happy.  We've both lost friends because of our relationship (instead of being happy for us, some people just de-friended us instead), but that only made the bonds we share with each other and our true friends even closer.

July 2011 will mark Hard Alley's 5th Anniversary. Looking at the list of SL Sex Sites, I could not find a single one that has been around longer. The sex sites that preceeded it, like Heaven and Hell, and The Sex Club, are all long gone. Hard Alley is still going strong and only gets better over time because it is full of hot sexy people who know how to have fun!

After that?  I have no idea.  I'm just making this up as I go along.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Merry Christmas!

Some thoughts for Christmas:

Please be careful in your travels.

Be tolerant and forgiving of family and friends. 

Be patient with children. 

Be mindful of those men and women who are overseas, away from their own families, to protect your freedom to be with yours.

Give yourself a present and forgive those with whom you have quarrelled this year.

Respect other's right to celebrate the season as they wish, regardless of if you agree with them.

Enjoy your time with those you love.

Remember fondly those who are no longer with you.

Keep in your heart the reason you are celebrating.

May each of you has a Safe and Happy Christmas this year!


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

My Thoughts on Drama

Drama is going to happen.  Fuck it.

Who are the players in a drama?

The Combatants:  These are the primary cause of the drama, dragging their arguments out for everyone to enjoy.

The Bystanders:  These are the people that get caught in the crossfire and are dragged into the drama unwittingly.

The Observers:  The people who are not part of the drama but can't turn away from it.

The Gangbangers:  The ones who aren't part of the initial drama, but jump into it, taking sides and making it a much bigger mess.

The Arbitrators:  Those who try to bring the drama to a close.  Usually neutral.

Bitches need to be put in their place!
SL is like RL.  It has drama.  Not everyone is going to get along with everyone else.  Personalities conflict.  Some people will like you.  Some won't.  Realistically, there's no avoiding it.  Everyone will be involved directly in drama at some point unless they are completely cut off from all other people.

The question is, how will you handle it?

Are you the Combatant?  If so, will you fight to your "dying breath" and never surrender until the other party is beaten and humiliated?  Is that a victory to you?  Will you decide that the drama is not worth the time you spend on it, and mute and move on?  Did you just let the other party "win"?

Putting the Bitch in her place!
If you aren't the Combatant, what role will you play?  Gangbanger?  Do you feel the need to plunge into the fray and make YOUR feelings heard?  Are you that wise, that you feel your arguments will suddenly bring the conflict to closure, or do you just see a good fight and want to be part of it?  Do you see friends on both sides and want to be the Arbitrator help them all get along?  Will you keep your opinions to yourself and quietly Observe the drama as it unfolds, popcorn in hand?

How you handle drama says more about you than the drama itself.  In most cases, all the original arguments are lost as everything devolves into "he said, she said" arguments that always go nowhere.  By the time the dust settles, no one really cares, no one has "won", and everyone is left with a bad taste in their mouth.  Think about the part you play.  Is anyone's SL (or RL) going to be a better place because of it?

I've had my share of drama.  I'm not proud of how I've handled it.  I hope to live and learn and do better next time.  Only time will tell if I am successful.  (for those of you reading the captions under the pictures, it's a joke!)

Drama? Fuck it.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Married at Last!

November 11, 2010... a date which will live in infamy.

We finally did it.  We finally got everyone online and in game at the same time and managed to pull them together and beat the SL lag monster!  We had a small wedding with Sufferingfrom Lockjaw officiating and it was a very nice ceremony.  It was short, sweet, and with just a bit of humor thrown in.  Only one person (the best man, Stroker Serpentine) dropped his pants.  lol.

No video taken, so it won't be on, but there were a lot of pics taken and they can be viewed Here and Here.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Halloween at Hard Alley!

We had a great time at Hard Alley's 5th Annual Halloween Party.  There were some great costumes and the night before we had Ghost Story Night at the Cemetary which was a blast.  There was plenty of nudity and naughtiness and DJ Trix kept us rocking with some great music.  Here are a few pics from the weekend's events.  You can find the rest on the Hard Alley Flickr site.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Bachelor Party Time!

One of the greatest things to come out of the institution of marriage is the Bachelor Party.  One wild, drunken night filled with horny guys, slutty girls, and the unspoken agreement that nothing that happens will ever be spoken of to the Bride-to-Be.  Through this rite of passage, a man gets his one last night as ruler of all her surveys, the king of the hill, the man on top...

And then he gets married.  "He" becomes "We" and life thereafter is filled with lame ass phrases like, "Just because I'm on a diet doesn't mean I can't look at the menu".  His regular night out with the boys slowly grinds to a halt as his non-married friends decided having him around cramps their style.  He begins to do things he never thought he'd do, such as holding his wife's purse while she shops, going to the store to buy pads at 11pm, and spending entire days looking at new bathroom fittings, because the old fittings don't match the color of the new toilet seat cover she bought.  And worst of all, every sexy girl he sees and wants to fuck is off limits, because he is now committed to banging the same pussy for the rest of his life.

And all this time, the man is thinking back to that last wild night... reliving it in his dreams...

So here is the plan.  In November (hopefully, if schedules permit) I will be getting married to Candace Flossberg, the hottest, sexiest girl in SL.  I am not worried about losing my night out with the boys, mostly because I never did that anyway.  I don't mind going shopping with Candace because she is usually buying slutty clothes that I will rip off her later.  I won't have to go to the store to buy pads.  If we go looking for bathroom fittings, we are probably looking for one with the best sex options, and not the right color.

And if I see a girl I want to fuck, I will fuck her, because Candace and I have a wonderful open relationship and sex with others is not an issue.  In fact, its encouraged.

Even so, sometime prior to that wedding day, I will be having a bachelor party.  It will be wild.  It will have slutty girls.  There will be things that the Bride-to-Be probably will not want to know about.  But because I know you are all soooo interested in my sex life, I will be posting a detailed account of the bachelor party for everyone's enjoyment.

By the way, I am looking for girls for the party.  I need hot little sluts that want to be fucked hard and used like dirty whores.  Send me a notecard with nude pics and your "qualifications".  If I have more responses than I can fit into the party, I might just have several "private" parties until I've worked my way through them all.  Shy girls need not apply.

It's time for the best bachelor party SL has ever seen.  Let the sex begin!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Hard Core Halloween!

October is my favorite month.  Halloween is my favorite holiday.

Halloween is a big event at Hard Alley.  I've been decorating the sim and getting ready for several Halloween events.  The lovely and talented Summer Seale has provided me with some of her wonderful decorations and they add a lot to the atmosphere.  Several Alley regualars are already getting into the spirit of the holiday, dressing up in costumes, wearing their finest pale grey skins, and sharpening their axes and icepicks.

Some of the events we have planned include the Annual Hard Alley Costume Party at the Strip Club and Ghost Story Night at the Cemetary.  I'm toying with the idea for a zombie gang-bang, but don't have any details yet.  I'll be making announcements through the various Hard Alley groups as to where and when these events will be taking place.

Here are some pics of the Alley decorated up for Halloween.

Takashi and Chrystina looking pale and undead...

The Giant Pumpkin looms over the town square...

Halloween at Hard Alley

The Hard Core Strippers giving out Candy...

Hard Core goes Orange!

The Ghost Story Campfire in the Hard Alley Cemetary...

 Hope to see you all there!  Happy Halloween!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Happy Birthday, Candace Flossberg!

The lovely and talented Candace Flossberg celebrated the date of her birth this Friday night at Hard Alley, with a huge party, lots of people, nudity, sex, and cake!  Here are some pics from the party.  The rest will be on Flickr soon!

Candace wearing her new party dress...

The party lasted all night!

Lots of nudity and sex was involved...

And cake.  We can't forget the cake.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Gang Bangs and Threesomes and Orgys! Oh my!

Everyone loves to have sex with more than one person at a time, right?  Okay good.  I thought so.

Threesome at Hard Alley
So why is it so hard to get more than two people together for sex?  The last threesome I was in was a month ago, and I can't remember the last time I participated in a gang bang or orgy.  I think for me it's usually a scheduling issue.  Trying to pull something together randomly at the spur of the moment works fine when only two people are involved, but you add a third person or more and scheduling becomes critical.

Candace taking three cocks
It's time we started having group sex parties.  Parties with set dates and times so that everyone knows when they will be and can adjust their schedules accordingly.  For example, we might have Wednesday night at 7pm set aside for Candace to get gang banged, or a Friday Night 8pm Free-for-all Orgy.  Even threesomes can be scheduled and those not participating can enjoy watching, or there may even be some tag-teaming.  Who knows?  Once you get the people there and they are horny, anything can happen!

Personally, I'd love to have more threesomes, foursomes, couple swapping, gang bangs, and orgies.  We might even add in some RP story lines, like Home Invasion or Unfaithful Spouses...

Leave comments.  Your feedback is important in planning events like this.  Is this something you're interested in?  Do you think it's a stupid idea?  Do you have suggestions for events?

If there is enough interest, I'll set up a private group sex party area at Hard Alley.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Women are from Venus, Men are Pussies!

Women get just as horny as men.  Probably even more so.  In fact, I am sure they are hornier than men.

She is here and wants to FUCK.
When I first opened Hard Alley, most of the visitors were women.  They loved the idea behind it and were excited about it.  That is, until they realised that there were no men.  I didn't understand it.  I had thought the Alley would have several guys hanging around, all waiting to pounce on the rare, unsuspecting girl that teleported in out of curiosity, so I was floored when I discovered that the opposite was true.

Even today, girls outnumber the men in the Alley four to one on average, and only one in ten of those men can even remotely Roleplay.  Trust me... if you can emote better than "you wanna fuk?" and have at least SOME sense of roleplaying a scene, you can get laid in Hard Alley.

Where the fuck are all the MEN?

They have all been turned into PUSSIES!

Somewhere in the last 50 years, modern society has reduced men to quivering, scared little pussies that are afraid of offending women.  They have been taught that they must show a sensitive side or be ridiculed as a chauvinist.  They have been conditioned to the idea that women are empowered and in the process, men have abdicated their belief in their own authority.

She doesn't want him to cuddle.
First off, I love women, and I respect them.  I think anyone who knows me will vouch for that.  But that doesn't prevent me from being dominant and even agressive when the situation calls for it.  In my real life, my wife and I are equal partners and I respect her opinions even when she's obviously wrong.  Which is most of the time.  But there are times when I have to make decisions that are in the family's best interest and she supports me in that.  Anyway, I respect women.  So don't get your panties in a wad. (that goes for men and women)

Okay, so we all know what happened and why.  And while John Wayne and Clark Gable may be rolling over in their graves, it has been good for women overall.  Except in the bedroom.  And especially in Hard Alley.

Does it surprise anyone that I have to send a notecard out monthly REMINDING guys that Hard Alley is for Fucking?  And that most of the women there WANT to be taken and used?  And that women don't want to be ASKED if they want to be raped?

She isn't here to be treated like a lady.
Guys:  Learn to Roleplay.  No one is going to want to just fuck you.  There are sims with big rooms full of poseballs for that.  Girls come to Hard Alley expecting a story to unfold.  BE the man in their story!  Make their fantasy unfold!  Take charge and lead them through to an ending that leaves you BOTH satisfied.  Don't ask them (it doesn't take a genius to tell if she's saying "no," because she doesn't want to play, or if she's saying, "no" because she's roleplaying a victim).  Don't treat them like ladies, unless that is the scene you are both playing.  Don't be gentle or shy.  And for Heaven's sake, don't join the Gang Bang club if you are scared of having sex in public!

I really try hard to encourage guys to step up to the plate and be MEN.  To get their dicks out of their panties and show these women what it's like to be FUCKED and not made love to.

It's getting better.  I'm seeing more and more guys that can Roleplay and are not afraid to drag a girl into a dark corner of the Alley.  I am seeing more and more gang bangs and rough sex.  And with each one I feel that I have in some small way helped my gender recover some of the manliness we have lost.  With each cum-drenched woman left laying on a filthy mattress I feel I have made some small stride in the de-pussyfication of man.  It's a lonely fight, but someone has to do it.

Thursday, September 16, 2010


Is she cheating?  Probably!
Do you cheat on your partner?

Cheating turns me on.  I love it when a girl cheats on her partner with me.

I don't cheat.  I don't have to.  Candace and I have a fully open relationship and we both enjoy sex with other people.  I don't have to create a secret alt to sneak around behind her back.  Candace knows my other avies and has even fucked one of them (so in a sense, she cheated on me with me).

Most couples in SL do not have an open relationship.  Most are monogamous, and that is great if that is what they both want.  It is, however, usually unrealistic to expect it to work.  Cheating is far to easy and the temptations to cheat are far too great for most couples to stay completely faithful to each other.  Typically it is the man who will eventually be caught straying, but I know lots of women that cheat, too.  Many of them, or their secret alts, have ended up in my bed.  Women are much sneakier and don't get caught as much.  Some actually desire to get caught, wishing their partner would catch them in the act for that extra adrenalline rush.  Of course, when they do get caught drama unfolds and I just want to tell them both how idiotic they were to expect faithfulness in SL to start with.  They should just make up, fuck, and deal with it.

Does her boyfriend know?
Do you wonder if your girl has ever cheated on you?  She probably has.  Maybe even with me.  IM me sometime and ask.  I might even have pics to share with you.  Hell, she's probably been fucking me for years.  Get over it.

Do you cheat on your partner?  No one ever reads my blog, so it's safe to post your answer.

Post a comment below and give me your opinion on cheating.  Don't be afraid to slip me your "room key".

Sunday, September 12, 2010

The Unthinkable Has Happened!

The Proposal.
Hard Rust actually found a girl that would marry him!

Yes, some poor girl, obviously not in her right mind, is willing to marry me.  Last Tuesday, September 7, at around 12:00 a.m., I proposed to Candace Flossberg in the middle of the Hard Core Sex and Strip Club.  I was wearing a formal suit and tie and the blushing bride-to-be was in her pink and yellow dinosaur jammies with the little footies.  On one knee, and after several fumbling statements trying to profess my undying love and devotion, I asked her to marry me and she exclaimed, "YAY!" (then she said, "Yes!").

The Kiss.
I placed the engagement ring on her finger (transfer inventory to recipient, place inventory in world, open object, copy contents to inventory, wear item).  Rising to the sound of my knee creaking, we embraced and kissed deeply, with my hand instantly going for an ass-grab.  Her ring sparkled in the dim lights of the club, reflecting the glowing stripper poles behind us.  (The ring came from Earthstones Jewelry, and not from the trunk of some guy's car in one of the shadier corners of Hard Alley as some have suggested).

Then we went to bed.  Literally.  It was a work night and we need our sleep.  We had our celebratory sex the next day.  Don't worry.  I took pics and I'll be posting them on the Hard Alley Flickr site soon.

Now comes the hard part.  The Wedding.  We're planning for some time in October.  It will be held in Hard Alley, of course.  We've never hosted a wedding in the Alley, so this will be interesting.  The Mayor of Hard Alley, Takashi Alexseev, will be officiating.  Carmen Greenfield (our co-star in our second porn video "The Naughty Secretary) will be the Maid of Honor.  We have lots of planning to do.  My suggestion of simple vows (Me: "Ya wanna", Candace: "Yep.  You?", Me: "Sure", Takashi: "Yer Hitched!", was overruled by Candace, who is looking forward to writing deep, meaningful vows that express her feelings or something like that.

The Ring.
We have both already been swamped with IMs from people asking us the main question on everyone's mind... "Are you still going to be available for sex?"  Duh.  Of course.  I am the Sleaze King, after all, and Candace's love of sex equals my own.  Sex with others just gets us hotter for each other.  Second Life Citizens may sleep peacefully knowing that Hard Rust and Candace Flossberg will still be out there fucking as always.

In summary:  Hard and Candace are getting Married.  Wedding in October.  Sex and Perversion remains the same.

It just goes to show you that even a rotten, amoral bastard like Hard Rust has room in his heart for love.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Doing Hard Time

We just completed our third porn video, "Doing Hard Time".  When fun-loving Candy runs afoul of the law, she is thrown into a nightmare that even her cocksucking talents cant seem to save her from! Featuring Candace Flossberg, EmeeLee Ember (pictured left), and me.

We had a lot of fun shooting this one over a couple of days in the Alley.  EmeeLee was a pleasure to work with and both she and Candace deserve medals for patience.  We're looking forward to shooting Part 2 sometime in mid-October when EmeeLee's schedule permits.

One thing we learned during this shoot... Candace cannot drive.  lol!  At least not in SL.  Bethi Catteneo gave us a really nice convertible Impala to use for the filming and unfortunately Hard Alley is not the best place to try to drive around.   There are far too many flaming trash barrels, dumpsters and people in the way.  The Hard Alley Clinic is overflowing with casualties!

Here is the link to the new movie!

Monday, August 30, 2010

Girls I'd Love to Fuck List 2010

A while back I listed the girls I'd most love to fuck, both in Real Life and in Second Life.  I think it's time to update that list for 2010. *grins*  Let's start with Real Life.  I'll never actually get to fuck any of these women, but it's nice to dream.

In No Particular Order...

Kim Kardashian - That ass alone earns her a spot on this list.
Jessica Alba - Always a favorite.
Christian Serratos - Her PETA poster is my all time favorite.
Megan Fox - Seriously.  Who wouldn't fuck that?
Kristen Bell - She's just too cute.  I'm waiting for her career to tank so she'll do Playboy.
Eliza Dushku - Sooner or later she will get a series that shows her true talents!
Olivia Munn - G4's best contribution to the male gaming community.
Kaley Cuoco - Hot blonde from Big Bang Theory.  She fucks GEEKS!
Ashlynn Brooke - Hottest porn star in videos today.  I just wish she did anal!
Jennifer Love Hewitt - The woman has curves, and dammit, I love curves.

Now for the girls in Second Life that I would love to fuck!  SOME of these girls are ones that I already have fucked, but would not hesitate to fuck again!  If you are NOT on this list, do not be upset!  The list of girls I want to fuck in SL is much longer than 10.  Again, these are not in any particular order.

Candace Flossberg - She has my heart, and can have my cock anytime she wants it.
Emanuelle Jameson - SL's most famous and sexy porn star, and a sweetheart, too!
Aspen Huntress - Her Flickr pics are hot, and so is she! UPDATE!  I FUCKED ASPEN HUNTRESS!
Trixianna Saenz - She's gorgeous, sexy, and one of my best friends!
Carmen Greenfield - Sexy star of our second porn video and super hot slut!
Jade Steele - Owner of Midian City and smoking hot babe.  Together we'd make Hard Steele.
Megzi Babii - She still won't give in to my charms.  But someday she will.
Yulia Juran - I've been wanting her since I met her, but something always keeps us apart.
Cipriana Diavolo - Another girl who has resisted me for so long... but I am persistant.
Zanara Zenovka - Sexy Aussie and scripter extraordinaire... and she has a nice ass.

I will not rest until I have fucked each of these women!  (along with the rest of the women in Second Life)

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

How to Have a Happy Second Life

Have you ever noticed just how miserable some people are in Second Life?  We all have friends that seem to have nothing but problems and grief to complain about.  I am not talking about the ones who actually have miserable Real Lives.  I am talking about the ones that are miserable in game.

Why are they miserable in Second Life?  Most of the time it's because they allow others to dictate how they play and keep them from enjoying the game the way in which they want.  They allow some Master or Mistress or Boyfriend or Girlfriend to put restrictions and demands on them.  In most cases they want to believe they are submissive, but a true submissive would be happy living this way.  Instead, these people complain about how unhappy they are but are unwilling to do what is needed to change.

Want to know the secret to having a happy Second Life?  Play the game YOUR way!

That's it.  Problem solved.  You do what YOU want, and if your Master/Mistress/Boyfriend/Girlfriend doesn't like it then they need to be told to mind their own business!  I am sure they wouldn't stand for anyone telling THEM how to play, but they don't think twice about dictating to others.

Do what you want to do.  Go where you want to go.  Fuck people you want to fuck.  If someone has a problem with you, its THEIR problem, not yours.  Mute and move on.  Don't waste YOUR fun time on people that can't accept you for who you are.

Take charge of your own happiness.  Make it happen.  Don't let anyone, including me, tell you how to play your game!  (although I kind of just did, didn't I?)

Saturday, August 21, 2010

The Naughty Secretary

Our second video is out.  It's called "The Naughty Secretary"

Mr. Lynden's wife catches him fucking his hot secretary, Carmen. What happens next can only happen in a porn movie... Starring Carmen Greenfield in her first SL porn move, Candace Flossberg, and Hard Rust.

We used the Lynden Labs section of Hard Alley for the set, with most of it being shot in Mr. Lynden's office upstairs.  We used a hot new rug by Warm Animations and a couple of great Luna Animations sets for the sex.
This is our way of paying homage to the wonderful 70's era porn films.

At you can find this video and many others by a variety of people in SL, including the famous Emanuelle Jameson, Krystall Pearl, and Aurora Bentham.  Be sure to check them out!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Reform School Slut!

Hard Alley has just released its first official Porn Video.  It's called Reform School Slut and it stars Candace Flossberg and myself.  This is the first in a series we hope to put together.  We had a blast making it.  Of course, SL was very uncooperative and we had to shoot the scene of the schoolgirl skipping down the hall about 40 times due to lag, but all in all it was a fun experience and we are looking forward to shooting the next one in a few days.

If you have trouble viewing the video here, try watching it on the Hard Alley website (full size) or on (medium size)

Sunday, August 8, 2010

So I suck at Blogging!

Yes, its been months since I blogged.  I've been busy.  Hard Alley is still there.  I'm still a rotten old bastard.

Hard Alley just celebrated its 4th Anniversary in Second Life.  For those of you who are not familiar with Second Life, 4 years is like 20 years in Real Life.  We've been running a full sim for over a year now and there's no sign of it ending anytime soon.  There are still a lot of perverts out there that are having fun and enjoying all the sick twisted fantasies that Hard Alley has to offer.

So what has happened in the months since Takashi was elected Mayor of Hard Alley? A lot!

We've added a drug den inside an abandoned pharmacy.  Rodison, the Hard Alley Drug Lord, has moved his band of sick junkies into it.  These drug addicts will do anything for a fix... anything!

Trixianna Saenz has taken the position (that sounds so dirty) of Hard Core Club Manager.  She's got DJs lined up for every day of the week and the club is rocking out every night, usually starting around 7pm SL time.

Tempest Jewel and I broke up, but she has found her true love and is now married to him.  She's also going to be DJing at Hard Alley once a week.  Check out her wedding photos on the Hard Alley Flickr site!

Candace Flossberg and I have gotten together.  Yes, there are still women foolish enough to put up with me.  She's smart, she's sexy, and she's willing to let me fuck anyone I want.  She gets to do the same, of course.  Candace is fun and easy going and a joy to be around, and I'm a lucky man to have her in my life.

There have been other changes, some good, some bad.  I won't bore you with all of them.  I'll try not to take so long to blog again.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Mayor of Hard Alley

This month we held elections to determine who would be the first Mayor of Hard Alley.  Interest in it was much higher than I thought, with over a dozen candidates in the running, although the field dropped to 10 by election day.  We had candidates who were long time Alley residents as well as people from all over SL and some who had never been to Hard Alley.

The 2 week long campaign period was full of cheating, dirty tricks, lies, bribes, and sexual scandal.  Promises were made that will never be kept, assasination attempts on candidates were made, and a good time was had by all.  During this time, City Hall was constructed near the Reform School (good source of interns!).

Election day itself was more of the same, with bimbo cheerleaders offering blow jobs in return for votes for thier candidate, candidates bribing voters, and other candidates cheating and attempting to trick the voters into voting for them.  After 24 hours and several sim resets, the voting booth was closed and nearly 350 votes had been cast.  The winner was Takashi Alexseev of the Tea Baggers Party.

Taka was sworn in yesterday in a public ceremony.  The following is a transcript of the ceremony and Taka's innaugural address:

Hard Rust: Friends... Perverts... Bitches... Welcome to the official innauguration ceremony for the newly elected Mayor of Hard Alley, Takashi Alexseev.

Takashi Alexseev is a long-time Alley resident with a history or sexual perversion and indecent behavior.

He can frequently be found cross-dressing or sexually abusing his fellow dancers at the Hard Core Sex and Strip Club.

Takashi ran a fine campaign for Mayor that began with cheating and culminated in trading sexual favors for votes.

Takashi, please approach the podium...

Raise your right hand and place your left hand on your crotch and repeat after me: (copy and paste)

Hard Rust: I, Takashi Alexseev...

Takashi Alexseev: I, Takashi Alexseev...

Hard Rust: Do solomnly swear to uphold the lack of law in Hard Alley...

Takashi Alexseev: Do solomnly swear to uphold the lack of law in Hard Alley...

Hard Rust: To promote vice, greed, and corruption whenever I am not fucking interns...

Takashi Alexseev: To promote vice, greed, and corruption whenever I am not fucking interns...

Hard Rust: To accept any bribes and all forms of graft...

Takashi Alexseev: To accept any bribes and all forms of graft...

Hard Rust: To abuse my authority and subject the citizens of Hard Alley to perverse sexual deviations...

Takashi Alexseev: To abuse my authority and subject the citizens of Hard Alley to perverse sexual deviations...

Hard Rust: And to set an example for others to follow by indulging in sins of the flesh and drunken debauchery at all times.

Takashi Alexseev: And to set an example for others to follow by indulging in sins of the flesh and drunken debauchery at all times.

Hard Rust: So Help Me Lag.

Takashi Alexseev: So Help Me Lag.
Hard Rust: Congratulations, Mayor Takashi Alexseev!

Takashi Alekseev: My fellow deviants,

As your newly elected official, I intend to make Hard Alley the epitome of filth, debauchery, and hedonism. As amazing as it is now, from the darkest sewer to that luxurious office in the sky (which happens to be mine), there is still much work to be done.

Residents should be free to satisfy their basest, darkest need because we are here for you. Be secure in the knowledge that I will interruptus my coitus at any moment to hear your concerns. As painful as that may sound, I want to stress that I will place your needs above my own. That is the Teabagger's credo.

Your voices have been heard at the ballot box. I ask that your voices be heard again throughout this sim. Express that lust inside you, feel no shame, and infect others with it.

Ask not who is going to screw you, but who will you screw today!

Thank you, Hard Alley!

After the ceremony, the new Mayor After the ceremony, the new Mayor
was attacked by an assassin dressed in a Spider-Man costume, and a revolt was lead in a failed coup attempt. When the dust had settled, the fearless Mayor was no where to be found. He had run away and was in hiding. It took a huge party at Hard Core to draw him back out.  Drinks were on the house and hookers were on the payroll as the night turned into one of sex and depravity.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Valentine's Day at Hard Alley

With Valentine's Day fast approaching, I thought it would be a good time to discuss my views on love and romance in Hard Alley.  I am sure you are all riveted to your seat in anticipation, so let me begin...

There are those who might believe that love does not exist in Hard Alley, but I say it is quite the opposite.  Hard Alley is full of love.  I look around every day and see people displaying their love and affection for one another.  Every dirty mattress is stained with a testimony to the amount of love abounding in the Alley.  The sounds of love permeate the air as I wonder the narrow passages between the run down and condemned buildings.  I see couples engaged in many acts of love throughout the course of a day, usually culminating in a climactic scene where one showers his affections on the other.

Is there Romance in Hard Alley?  Again, I say yes.  My strippers are constantly being woo'd by the men and women who frequent the Hard Core Strip Club, and frequently, as a sign of affection, my strippers will shower these men and women with gifts of love, such as panties or blow jobs.  What better example of love and romance does one need than the sight of a gentleman holding back the hair of a stripper as she sucks his cock to keep from getting her hair all tangled with his cum?  Or the man who applys that extra amount of lube to his lady before sticking his cock in her ass?

Yes, Love and Romance are in full bloom in Hard Alley.

Happy Valentine's Day from your lovable hopless romantic, Hard Rust.