The Infamous Hard Alley

The Infamous Hard Alley
Second Life's Original Sin

Monday, December 8, 2008

Business or Pleasure?

Most nights I am faced with this question. Business or Pleasure? As I dance at Hard Core, or wander the Alley, the lovely ladies that dance for me constantly catch my eye. But they are hard at work, earning tips and keeping customers happy. Wouldn't it be wrong to pull them from the stage and drag them off to my private chambers to have my way with them?

On one hand, I want my girls to make nice money. They work hard and deserve the reward. Its not easy to dance for hours and try to flirt and converse and be cheerful and sexy, and let's face it... in this economy, the tips are drying up. It would be bad to interfere with them while they are actually pulling in those few rare coins.

On the other hand, I, too, fall prey to their charms. And as their boss, it is my duty to sexually harass them as much as I can. Sometimes that involves pressuring them to come satisfy my carnal needs. After all, it IS my Alley, and they work for me. I pay a lot of money each month so other people can have sex. Shouldn't I get some, too, even if they miss a tip or two?

So the question remains: Business or Pleasure?

Luckily the question has been answered in the last day or so. Two of my girls have decided to be twins, which leaves me with the brilliant plan to leave one to dance while I have my way with the other. To be fair, I'll have to alternate which one stays and which one submits to my lust, but I am nothing if not fair. :)

Don't you love it when problems just work themselves out?

Now the question is: How do I get them both into my room at the same time?

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Back from Vacation

I've been out of Second Life for over a month and now I'm back.

Hard Alley survived without me, which is good, but I can see that SL in general has declined. Not as many people playing, economy is tanking just like RL, and lag is everywhere (not just Hard Alley). I expect the Lindens to do something really creative to solve these problems, like raise prices. Hey! Why fix problems when you can just suck money out of people?

But anyway, I am back in game and ready to reclaim the title of Sleaze King. I've let Hard Core turn into Hello Kitty Klub and it needs to get back to its roots: Anything goes, the naughtier the better. I want the sounds of sex in the club to drown out the sounds of sex from the Gang Bang Room below.

So if fucking offends you, go to Bad Girls. Hard Core is not just the club name.

And remember... Its my Alley. I take what I want in it.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Girls I want to have sex with

Let's start with Real Life...

Jennifer Love Hewitt - I mean, damn, who wouldn't hit that?
Ali Larter - the girl with super slutty powers in Heroes.
Faith Hill - And I actually like a couple of her songs.
Shania Twain - Don't care for her songs at all.
Jessica Alba - 'Nuff said.

In Second Life...

Bre Figtree - She's back and she really needs to give in to me.
Zanara - Drives me insane with lust. Someday she'll let me do her just to stop me from begging.
Amykitten - I've been after her from day one but she's always too busy dancing.
Alesandra Pinklady - She makes such hot clothes, and she looks so hot in them.
Prissy Underall - Unfortunately she's like a daughter to me. Fortunately, I'm a perv.
Megz Ling - Naked looks so good on her.
Megzi Babii - But only because she's such a tease.
and of course,
Mary Baphomet - I would give up all other women for Mary, for at least a day.

That should be enough for now. I'm sure I'll think of more later. In the meantime, if you would like to be added to the list, please report to my private office naked.

Sunday, September 14, 2008


Okay let's talk about strippers. I've seen all kinds of strippers, who dance for lots of different reasons. In Second Life, anyone can be a stripper. In fact, stripping and escorting are probably the first professions most women choose when they start playing SL. Why? Because its easy, not very expensive, and because it involves buying lots of new clothes.

Most strippers quit after just a few weeks. Why? Because they quickly realize that the sex industry is not for them, or they have hooked up with a customer and no longer need to work to get clothes.

But some strippers... the best ones... stick with it. Again, why? Some enjoy the money. Some enjoy the social aspects of always meeting new people. And some do it as a form of escape from relationships and responsibilities that have grown to be too much like Real Life.

Speaking of strippers, I should mention Mary Baphomet is still officially a stripper at Hard Core, although she rarely graces us with a dance. Mostly she stands on the dance floor and allows us to bask in her presence. Hail Mary! But when Mary DOES dance... WOW! (begin 70's porn music in background... Bow-Chicka-Bow-Bow) Mary's got a great rack. Enough said.

Okay so I know this post is boring and you could care less about my views and perspectives on strippers. What you really want to know is, do I get to have sex with them.

The answer is yes. I do. And I have. A lot. Not all, mind you, although I am always working to hit the 100% mark. Yes, sexual harassment is alive and well at Hard Core. Its just a matter of time, and I am a patient man.

Is it good to be the king? You bet your ass it is. Bow-Chicka-Bow-Bow!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Big Changes

Anyone that has been a regular to Hard Alley knows that I am constantly changing things, trying to keep it somewhat fresh. While there have been many changes to the Alley lately, the biggest change is that Ananisa and I are no longer married. Three weeks shy of our second anniversary I told Ana I wanted a divorce. I won't go into the reasons behind it here. I still love and respect Ana, and we remain close both in RL and SL, and she still runs the School and manages Hard Core.

With the help of several friends and trusted advisors, the other changes at Hard Alley have been showing some great results. Traffic is up and people are having sex again. My dancers are making great money in the club and having a good time. The School is packed and traffic is nearly 40K each day, up from 20K a month ago. I owe a lot of thanks to the people that have been helping and sharing their feelings and advice on how to make Hard Alley a better place.

I will be hard at work keeping things new and interesting... trying to keep it fun. If you read this, stop by the Alley and say "hi". Tell me what a great job I'm doing, or tell me I suck. Either way, it will be nice to know how you feel. :)
Oh yeah, no blog is worth reading unless it mentions just how awesome and amazing Mary Baphomet is. Mary is teh koolest. She really needs to let me have sex with her so I can share in the wonderment that is Mary. Hail Mary!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Its good to be the King

Its been almost two years since I created Hard Alley on my original 512m First Land. Over that two years, the Alley and the School Girls Gone Bad Detention Facility have given me the opportunity to make some great friends.

First, of course, is my lovely wife Ananisa, who is always by my side (... always... every minute of the day... day in, day out...) and has been instrumental in making the sites what they are today. The love I have for her extends beyond SL and having her in my life the last two years has been wonderful. Don't let her bitchy exterior fool you. She's a loving, caring person.

Then there are my SL "family" who have adopted Ana and I over time. Our three daughters, Prissy, Waterfalzz and Vanessa (and the daughter that Ana denies, Wercr), and Grandpa Veto. How the hell did we end up with this bunch? Love them all (even Veto, but strictly in a platonic sense. After all, I've seen him in a speedo and it ain't pretty).

My dancers are my extended family. Each and every one of them is special to me. Some have brought a lot of life to the Hard Core Strip Club, and have made it my favorite place to hang out. I don't mean to slight any of them, but some of the girls I have to give special mention to...

Mary Baphomet. I don't think anything I write here can do Mary justice (except maybe "For a good time, IM Mary Baphomet"). If you are lucky enough to know her, then you understand. There's only one Mary. Thank God.

Prissy Underall. One of our daughters and the dancer that has been with us the longest. She doesn't dance much anymore, but if she ever quits for good then Hard Core will be diminshed for it. My favorite little bunny.

Bree Figtree. Bree and controversy go hand in hand, but she shook the club up and gave it a lot of energy. I miss Bree. I think of her everytime a noob asks one of my dancers for sex. When they would ask her, she would reply, "Sure. Bend over and I'll get out my strap-on." LOL!

Fallon Claymore. Fallon is a powderkeg concealed in a petite kitty frame. Don't underestimate her. She loves my jokes. :)

Mina Hathaway. Mina was a club favorite and spent more time dancing than any dancer we had. She is a good friend and I miss seeing her and talking to her.

Zanara Zenovka. A true artist in every sense of the word. At times funny, at times sexy, at times bitchy, but at ALL times a Lady. She's contributed more than even she realizes to the success of the club, and I value her insight and talent almost as much as I value her friendship.

Megz Ling. Best DJ Hard Core has ever had. Megz brings an energy to Hard Core just by being there. She reminds me daily how fun this really is. Everyone loves Megz.

There are too many others to mention, but in future blogs I'll try to say a few words about the other people that have made my Second Life a better place to be.

And remember to visit scenic Hard Alley on your next vacation!